How to Poo in the Woods

I've got to say it. And many friends and family members think it sounds crazy... but there is nothing more satisfying than a good poo in the woods.  The sense of accomplishment, knowing the angst from which the urge began, to the scouting, preparation, to finally walking away from a "job well done" is one of my simple joys. Yet I find many people freak out about all sorts of issues surrounding this most basic of human bodily functions.

So how does one approach such a potentially satisfying and successful chore?

1.  Have the right tools.
You're going to need a trowel, TP, hand sanitizer, and, not pictured, a STICK. Make sure you take the TP OUT of the ziploc bag before you use it....

2. Find a good spot.
It's like buying a house-- location, location, location!

Get off the trail, out of sight of any passers-by, where you have some privacy. Also, do NOT get close to a water source. Leave no Trace guidelines dictate that you're at least 200 feet from a water source, trail or campsite.

I recommend a tree or log cross-wise to lean your back on. You DON'T want to lose your balance during a critical time. Having something to lean on takes some of the pressure off. I chose a rock to lean against (bottom photo). The green moss was soothing to my soul and provided a nice peaceful place.

3.  Dig the Hole.
How big a hole? As big as it takes.... You want an easy-to-hit target.
The depth is far more important. 4-8 inches is ideal. This will aid in decomposition. Plus, it's better to discover you dug too deeply than to realize you were too shallow...

4.  Prepare Yourself.
Have your TP ready. When you drop your drawers, I've found it helpful to remove one leg from your shorts/trousers and pivot the shorts around and off to the side of the leg that's still in said shorts. That way the clothing is out of the way. Rocket science, huh?

5.  Do Your Business.
If you need instructions here, my only suggestion is to NOT go into the woods.Stay at home. Really.

6.  Stir, compress.
Use your stick (not your trowel) to "fine tune" the contents of the hole. Use the stick to move the layer of soil back over everything, and then poke/bury the stick into the hole. This way your trowel stays sanitary-- you use it only to dig the original hole.

7. Cover. Spread forest duff, leaves, sticks over everything-- in general, do some landscaping so that no one could tell what-all has gone on. Even CSI should not be able to tell...

8. Sanitize. Now is the time to use your hand sanitizer... BEFORE you dig into your friend's GORP! (And by the way-- never dig into your friend's GORP-- pour it into your sanitized hand.)

9. Stand back and admire a job well done.. Take a picture if you want. I'm telling you-- it's one of backpacking's simple pleasures.